Tragedy at 17
by KeikoTakataxx12
Summary: ONE-SHOT: Kagome has a secret depression. Not so much a secret to her boyfriend Sesshomaru. Bullied her entire school life and judged for dating a demon Kagome does something horrible with permanent consequences. Warning, includes: Self-harm and Character death. Written for Self-harm awarness week in 2009 at my school. SesshomaruxKagome Pairing
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone! I decided to take the time to look through a flash drive from high school, I found this gem inside it. I wrote this in 2009 during my freshman year of high school for a story project for self-harm awareness week. I went through and fixed a few things but not all of them. This story was 15 pages in total. Enjoy.

Sesshomaru and Kagome have been together since they were 14, they were starting their last year of high school. Kagome use to be a vibrant person back then.

Before the incident while Sesshomaru was gone with family in the states, leaving her in Tokyo.

After that, Sesshomaru was always by Kagome's side since her attempted suicide two years ago while he was gone. He remembers the conversation they had while she was laying in the hospital bed, he came home early when his friend Koga had called him.

 **~~Flashback start~~**

" _Why would you do that Kagome? Do you wish to die?" He asked her while holding her hand._

 _She just stared at the hospital room ceiling, "You wouldn't understand what's going on." She turned her head away from him so she wouldn't see the disappointment on his face._

" _You're right I wouldn't understand. But I wish to try. You've said you were down, please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded._

" _I cry myself to sleep every night, Sesshomaru. Life's not what I thought it would be and I didn't feel like living anymore." She answered truthfully, "I'm stuck in a stupid rut and my life is always going down. I couldn't handle it anymore."_

 _Sesshomaru couldn't help but stare at her, "I'll always show you that life is worth living Kagome, I will always be here when you need me. I don't want you to feel like a waste of space in this life." He kissed her forehead before going back to comforting her the way he knew how._

 _By holding her hand and flaring his aura to blanket her in a safe haven._

 **~~Flashback end~~**

He always tells her every night has a brighter day and that she was the most important person in the world to her.

They were walking to class, hand in hand, when Sesshomaru noticed she was tense. He rubbed her arm and looked over her, "Kagome?"

She didn't look at him, "Yes?" He knew she was hiding something from him for a while since that attempt to end her life because of her depression.

"Are you alright?" He asked her while he continued to rub her arm. She just nodded and let go of his hand as they entered the class room.

They sat towards the back, just like every year. Kagome is 17 while Sesshomaru was 18. Her parents always put her down for dating a yokai since she grew up on a shrine. Sesshomaru's parents didn't particularly care who he dated as long he was happy with his decision.

Kagome was discredited by people in her class or around her school, Sesshomaru was the only one that was positive she could do anything in the world.

"Kagome, you're amazing." He told her while they were sitting in class. She nodded and smiled one of her fake smiles.

She spends everyday loathing herself from the inside, hiding it from everyone, even the one person that is her everything. Sesshomaru noticed this a few months ago, she use to wear dresses and now all she wears are long sleeves.

Her eyes were always dull now rather than her vibrant, life filled eyes. She wasn't sleeping like she should. She was hiding something. 'I'll find out what it is Kagome...' He thought to himself as he watched her take notes inside her notebook.

The rest of the day went the same, they walked to class together, she seemed distant and smelled of sadness beyond her normal scent. On their way home she wouldn't look at him.

"Kagome, are you sure you are alright?" She tensed up, when he reached for her hand she pulled away from him and nodded.

Kagome went home while Sesshomaru stood there, watching her walk up the stairs of her home before heading home himself. He couldn't shake the sadness he felt on her, let alone he was extremely worried about her deeply.

Later that night he was doing his history homework when his phone started ringing, he looked and noticed it was Kagome. Clearing his throat before he answered.

"Hello my lovely shrine maiden." He said in a sultry voice.

It was quiet for a moment and he began to panic a bit before he heard her sniffle, "Sesshomaru.." She made a whimpering sound before continuing, "I lied, I'm not fine.."

He looked at his clock, realizing that it was almost 1 in the morning, he contemplated what to do. His little maiden needed him, "Leave your window unlocked, I'm on my way."

"okay.." She said before handing up. Sesshomaru got dressed for the winter weather outside before making his way to her house.

When he got close he smelled the tangy scent of blood. He sniffed and his eyes grew wider, it wasn't just anyone's blood. It was Kagome's blood.

He sped up his walking to a small jog, not wanting the authorities to catch him out after the curfew. He skipped steps as he made his way up the shrine steps and jumping up to Kagome's window.

He opened the window and was assaulted with the heavy scent of blood. Sesshomaru climbed in the window before closing it and pulling the curtain back to it's appropriate spot. He looked around Kagome's room for a few moments.

Nothing looked out of the ordinary except...

The scent of blood.

The first aid kit sitting on her bed, practically empty, except for a few items.

He sniffed the air again before making his way towards Kagome's bathroom door. He knocked and waited to her an answer.

"Come in." She said in a low voice.

He walked in and the sight before him made his eyes tint red. He looked at the flood covered in blood drops, the bloody tissues covering the inside of the sink.

Kagome was sitting against the wall next to the bath tub, she didn't look at Sesshomaru. She continued to look at her arm. Sesshomaru made his way to her and couldn't suppress the growl that left his throat.

Her arm was covered in cuts, in all sorts of directions, some still bleeding while others had stopped. He kept staring at her arm before looking at her. "Why Kagome?"

She didn't look at him, all she did was stare at her arm, "I'm like a soldier with a battle wound Sesshomaru, I couldn't do it anymore."

He couldn't believe what she was saying, "What is wrong my onna?"

She sighed, "It's how I've been coping since I couldn't successfully off myself. I'm an empty shell Sessh." She paused for a moment and looked at him with emotionless eyes, "You tell me every night has a brighter day but nothing ever gets brighter. Ever. It's a lie."

He couldn't help but stare, he grabbed her arm carefully, looking over all her cuts. He finished examining them before getting up to get the first aid kit. Bringing it back in he started bandaging her up the best he could.

After he was done with his doctor act of covering her cuts with the appropriate items he helped her up, carrying her close to his chest to her bed. He laid her down before laying behind her and nuzzling into her neck.

"Kagome I don't like when you hurt yourself." He paused to see if she was still awake. When he saw her eyes were still open he continued, "Please don't cut again, you can always come to me for help if you really need to."

She didn't say anything, all she did was nod. He knew she wasn't up for talking after learning she had used self harm as a mode of relief.

He held her for hours, listening to her cry. They laid in complete silence once she had calmed down. Sesshomaru looked over her body at her bandaged arm before releasing his hold on her to check the time. It was almost 6 in the morning and her mother would be in soon to wake her.

If they caught him here with her they would punish both of them for defying the house rules.

He brushed some hair away from her face before speaking, "It may take the pain away for a while my little maiden, but it will always come back ten fold. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you Kagome." He listened to her breathing even out, indicated she had finally fallen into a deep sleep.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before making his way out of her window to head home so he could begin getting ready for school.

Once Sesshomaru made it home he took a shower and got dressed. He grabbed his bag and left his house at 6:15 to meet Kagome at the bottom step of the shrine she lived on. When he got there Kagome was waiting for him.

She was wearing a turtle neck sweater, fleece leggings and her favorite winter boots. She had her hair up in a bun with a scarf wrapped around her neck. Sesshomaru couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

He walked up to Kagome and smiled, "Why don't we look lovely today."

She glared at him with empty eyes, "I look like death Sesshomaru, I just want to stay home but my mom and grandpa won't let me."

"You can't stay home after what happened. Let's go." He said to her as he grabbed her hand. They began walking in a comfortable silence. Sesshomaru wanted to know why she had sunk to the point of harming herself.

While they were walking they ran into Inuyasha, Kikyo and Sango. They looked between Sesshomaru and Kagome before looking among each other.

"Oi, Sesshomaru. Why is there a gloomy aura around you guys?" Inuyasha asked with a rough attitude. Kikyo smacked him across the back of his neck to reprimand him for his attitude.

Kagome stiffened and started twiddling with her thumbs. Sango walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug like she did every morning they all met up for their walk to school. Kikyo and Inuyasha were bickering in the background while Sesshomaru never took his eyes off of Kagome.

"Let's get going or else we'll all be late for school." Kikyo said while she was pulling a half conscious Inuyasha by the ear. Sango nodded and ran behind them, leaving Sesshomaru and Kagome alone.

Kagome looked at Sesshomaru before grabbing his hand and interlocking their fingers, "Let's go. I want to get today over with as speedy as possible."

Sesshomaru nodded. Squeezing her hand he made willed his body to move and started walking with her in tow. As they walked to school they reverted back to their comfortable silence like every morning, only Sesshomaru felt awkward, it was an uncomfortable silence now.

As they made their way onto the campus everyone, excluding Sesshomaru and Kagome, went their separate ways for class. Sesshomaru walked Kagome to her advisory period since they didn't have class together until after that. He kissed her on the cheek while his left thumb rubbed her other cheek.

"I will see you next period. Will you be alright until then?" He asked her, not removing his hand from her flushed cheek.

She held up her cellphone and her headphones, "I think I'll manage, I can text you while I'm here too." She leaned up a bit and kissed his cheek with the same love he had kissed hers' with.

He gave her a soft nod and placed his hand on the small of her back, "Then I shall take my leave." He stated as he pushed her into the room and closed the door behind him.

Kagome looked around before moving to a seat at the back of the class towards a corner. She pulled out a notebook and set her phone up on the desk to listen to music. 'I only have to be in this class for 2 hours. It isn't that bad I suppose..' She thought to herself as she watched everyone piling into the room as the bell rang.

She looked around as all the students sat in groups, as they did every morning during this period, except Kagome who sat alone like always. The students around her liked to gossip about her like she wasn't in the room.

"Is that her?" A girl asked as she looked slightly in Kagome's direction.

Another girl tried to hide her giggles, "The rich demon's whore? Yeah that's her alright."

"He must have been in a bad position to be dating her for as long as he has. Maybe she put some kind of blackmail on him. There's no way a demon would date someone who grew up as a shrine maiden." The girl said as they all stared at Kagome.

Kagome put her headphones in and laid her head on the desk, she didn't look up until she felt her phone go off with a text from Sesshomaru.

 _ **Sesshomaru: Are you doing well?**_

She looked at her phone before she started typing.

 _ **Kagome: Yeah, I suppose I'm alright. I love you.**_

 _ **Sesshomaru: I love you as well, keep your head up.**_

She looked at that text before deciding to not reply, she put her notebook back in her backpack before getting up from her desk. She made her way out of the room and walked towards the back of the school.

She couldn't take it anymore, she had to go somewhere she could be alone.

Sesshomaru sat with Inuyasha and Miroku during his advisory period. He looked at his phone to see if Kagome had ever replied but she had not.

"Sesshomaru." Inuyasha called, waving his hand in front of his brothers face. Miroku just watched the dog-eared boy waving his hand in the demons' face.

Sesshomaru let out a growl before looking to Inuyasha, "What do you want?"

Miroku just sighed, "Are you alright Sesshomaru? You've been looking at your phone more than usual."

"I'm just worried about Kagome. She's been kind of..." He trailed off as he looked to his phone again to send a text.

 _ **Sesshomaru: Talk to me. What is going through your mind right now love?**_

Inuyasha looked at him, "I noticed that. Is there something wrong with her? Like something at home is bothering her. Is that it?"

Sesshomaru shook his head, "I will not talk about my girlfriend's person things with the likes of you, especially the lech over there." He said pointing to Miroku.

Miroku shook his hand in a fist at him, "I walk into the girls locker room once and I'm suddenly the public enemy here. I didn't even see Kagome!"

"My point exactly, you're already part of girls personal affairs." Sesshomaru said as he felt his phone vibrate.

 _ **Kagome: I don't want to talk about something that no-one will understand. I love you.**_

He didn't think anything of it and decided to just reply.

 _ **Sesshomaru: I love you too, I always will with everything I have.**_

He sat his phone and continued his conversation. After about 30 minutes with no reply he looked through his messages again, thinking maybe his phone hadn't received anything because of a glitch and restarted it. When it rebooted he looked again to see nothing new from her.

Sesshomaru thought through what he just read and felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he looked over to Inuyasha who was looking back at him, "Is everything alright Sess?"

"I'm not sure but I will be leaving class now." He stated as he grabbed his backpack and made his way out the classroom door.

He walked to the back of the school towards Kagome's street. As he was walking he kept checking his phone for another text message. As he was approaching the back of the shrine he couldn't sense Kagome's energy.

He started panicking and sped his walking a bit. When Kagome's window came into view he jumped onto the sill and opened it. He looked a bit before fully entering her room. Nothing looked out of the ordinary to him.

Walking towards the bathroom he paused and saw the light was on. So he knocked, "Kagome? Are you in there?"

He waited a few moments and received no answer. Slowly he set his hand on the doorknob, "I'm coming in." He said as he turned it and pushed the door open.

What he came to view was something that made him cringe, the feeling of depression hitting him as he fell to his knees.

Sitting in the tub, full of red tinted water, was Kagome. Cuts all over her arms, with two long ones going up her arms, bleeding profoundly. Her head was leaned back against the edge of the tub while her body and arms were submerged in the water.

He didn't see her chest move.

He didn't hear a heartbeat.

He stared at her for a few more moments in shock.

'How could I let this happen..' He thought to himself as he pushed himself to his feet. Making his way over to her he noticed a piece of paper folder on the counter with his name in elegant letters.

He looked at her before picking up the paper and unfolding it. As he looked it over he couldn't help his eyes and how they grew wide with every glance.

 _Sesshomaru,_

 _I don't know where to start exactly. I guess I should start with I'm sorry._

 _I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to never result to this action again. I remember when I attempted to kill myself two years ago. I remember how it affected you without my knowledge for so long. I didn't want you to go through that, it wasn't your fault I was weak. You're the best friend I had and I hate that I'm going to be making you sad when you find this, along with me, if someone else doesn't find me first._

 _I love you Sesshomaru, since the first time I saw you with that girl Kagura in the courtyard at the middle school all those years ago. You never noticed me, though I was the one hiding from you because I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if I told you how I felt._

 _I started cutting after my failed attempt that winter break, I used a sutra to hide the scent of my dried up blood when they would scab over and start healing. I always wore my sweater or a long sleeve to keep you from seeing. I just wish I hadn't lied or kept it from you._

 _This world just isn't for me. It's a lie. Everyone is either being bullied or are the bullies. I wish I would've learned that before I made it this far in my life. I was just born in the wrong time._

 _I tried for so long to fit in and I found out I was just a waste of space. I'm not a fighter Sesshomaru, I couldn't do it._

 _I'm glad I got to spend some of the best memories with you even though I won't be around anymore. Don't let it kill you too. Keep going and don't you dare stop._

 _I love you, Sesshomaru._

 _Love always,_

 _Kagome_

Sesshomaru slid down the wall with the paper still in his hand. He stared forward at the bathroom door and couldn't help the tears that slid down his face as he covered them with his arms, trying to keep from screaming out.

He collected himself after crying for a few moments and crawled over to the tub and pulled her left hand above the surface while he dug through his pocket. He pulled out a ring and placed it on her ring finger before placing a kiss on it. "I love you too, Kagome."

The tears started again. He did nothing to stop his mourning.

He couldn't believe the love of his life was gone, forever.


	2. If seeking guidance Author's Note

Hello everyone,

As I assume you have read this self-harm one shot.

I'd like to encourage anyone with the thought of suicide or who is or knows someone using self-harm as a way of release to remember that there are people out there that can always help.

SOURCES:

1-800-SUICIDE – Suicide Hot-line or people contemplating suicide.

1-800-334-HELP – **Self Injury** Foundation's 24-hour national crisis line.

1-877-332-7333 – Real Help For Teens' help line

1-800- DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) – Self-injugry hot-line

1-800-621-4000 – National Adolescent Suicide Hotline

1-800-999-9999 – Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program

.com SAFE (Self abuse finally ends) Alternatives program

There is always someone there, don't ever think you're alone.

-Keikotakataxx12


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